Who am I? Why the hell am I here? Where is the sports gear? Where is the field?

Just a little ditty that goes out to all the people out there wondering what the hell a life coach is and why they should use one. I used to teach college level courses. The courses I taught often centered around college and life success. Shocker. I began teaching long before I became a coach. Often, students were mandated to take my courses after they had failed 1-2 semesters of coursework. Talk about a bus ticket to fun town. Thirty undergrad eighteen year olds locked in a room with a woman who was going to “fix” their dysfunction one hour at a time. To make it completely comfortable for them, they all knew why they were there. Look to your left-they all failed. Look to your right-yep, they failed, too. Great, great system to help. Brilliant-truly brilliant idea the college had.  It typically took us three class periods to kiss and make up to make progress.

As I was leaving that job, I had many parents asking if I could please continue working with their young adult children. That’s when I decided to be a coach. I found a program to be trained, I studied, I learned the ropes, I started a side hustle. I started getting inquires for services. Not a shocker that the initial group of people wanting to contract were former students. One student in particular, who I actually had to fail in my class. Giving a failing grade in that class was one of the most painful academic actions I ever had to take.  Again-fucking brilliant on behalf of the university. Life skills-F. Let’s put that on someone’s transcript. Nothing wounded but your pride, right? When his mom reached out to me for coaching, my initial reaction was, “nope, no thank you, I can’t, won’t-ever.” But...then I remembered how coaching was different. It helped motivate, clarify goals, desires, and dreams. The client owned the content, I just owned the process-much different (and more effective) than our past experience. I was able to interact with him with the acknowledgement he was capable and had the answers-I just had to assist him tap into his strengths, abilities, and inner badass. Loooong story short-that client became one the most successful I have EVER coached. He was successful because coaching worked for him. My last session was both happy and sad. Happy because he had achieved his goals, sad because I L-O-V-E-D sessions with him. At the end of our time, he collected his things and we said our goodbyes. I heard him walk away toward the stairs of the exit. As I was sitting reflecting on the amazing amount of growth I saw him achieve, I heard his footsteps approach my direction again. When I looked up, he told me that he’d rather stay for awhile. That he wanted just to sit in our spot a bit longer. That there was no place he would rather be. That is why I am still a coach. Moral to the story is that while the class environment did not work for him to achieve the personal growth he was capable of, coaching was. The Socratic method did not honor his capabilities or draw them out in a way the coaching method did. In class he was a receptacle. In coaching he was the captain of his ship-with a first mate to help him every step of the way.

Coaching acknowledges and honors that the person being coached is fully capable of or to use a  unfucking themselves or getting unstuck in their current situation with a bit of help. A good coach is able to understand the human condition, but celebrate the human spirit. You are capable, you are whole, you have the answers-we just need to find them together. Coaching is a transformation process that allows clients to explore their beliefs, talents, current path, and future directions they would like to pursue.  A coach helps a client meet their full potential and make an important life transition or change, set and achieve goals, balance personal and professional lives, break through the glass ceiling, finding the right career, and be the best version of themselves. Need I say more? Pick me-pick me to make a career out of this. How lucky am I?

Things to consider when considering a coach.

1.       Credentials do matter. Notice that this is number one. If I didn’t risk insulting your intelligence, I’d repeat this one for number 2, 3,4, and 5. Coaching has gotten to be a pretty sexy industry. I shudder every time I see and advertisement telling wanna be coaches that they can start coaching without any additional training or education. Coaches are dealing with people’s lives-respect the importance of your soul work enough to seek out someone who has been formally trained to honor the type of deep work you want to do. There can be a huge difference between a coach who has been trained and certified in a way that is recognized and someone who hasn’t.

2.       Coaching helps a person get across the bridge, it can’t prevent one from jumping off of it. Many of my inquiries ask what the difference is between coaching and therapy. That’s it in a nutshell. If you need assistance with mental health seek out a therapist. If you need clarity in areas such as your general life direction, being the best version of yourself, achieving or managing lasting change, or setting and meeting goals,  coaching might be a great fit.

3.       While a coach can help you get there, all of the hard work, actions, and successes are yours. If you read the Walk Hards I feature in social media, you will often see the person say, “I owe it all to you Dr. Molly!” or something similar. That’s a lie. I just helped them located the part of themselves needed to succeed.  It was always there, we just had to spend some time getting to the place it lived , listening to it, making it speak louder, When a Walk Hard says, “I couldn’t have done it without you” that’s a partial lie. All of my clients had it in them, coaching just helped them get it done in a more direct path.

4. Know that you are signing on to big work. Make sure you are in a place where you are ready to dig in. Readiness is really important in coaching. The work is yours, but so is the success. If you aren’t ready to really look at where you want to go, yourself, and how to get there, it might not be the right time.

5. Ask for a free consult. Chemistry is important. Really important. Most reputable coaches will offer a free consult so that you can get a feel for them (and vice versa) so that everyone is comfortable. If you aren’t feeling good chemistry with one coach, keep looking. It’s beneficial all the way around. You find someone you can make more progress with and they fill the slot with someone they can help best.